Old, but still funny!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?"


A baby seal walks into a club.


A Priest and A Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"


A man walks into a bar, and he has a tiny foot tall man sitting on his shoulder. The man takes a seat at the bar and orders a beer and something to nibble on. When the bartender delivers the items, the little man runs down the mans shoulders, knocks over the beer and and bowl of snacks, stomps all over them, then back up the mans arm to his perch on his shoulder. The man just sighs, gets the bartenders attention and repeats his order. When the bartender brings the items over for the second time the little man repeats his commotion and the customer once again repeats his order. This time the bartender has to know whats going on. "You see," said the customer "I once found this bottle on the beach and when I started to clean it up, a djinnie appeared and offered me one wish. I asked for a 12 inch dick, and I've been stuck with him ever since."


Two guys are sitting in a bar close to closing time. One man says "Aw man, my wife is going to be so pissed. Everytime I come home late, no matter how quiet I am she's wide awake and lets me have it!" His buddy replies "You're going about it all wrong. When I get home I tear into the driveway, screeching my tires as I stand on the brakes. I burst through the door and yell up that I'm coming to bed and want some action. She's sound asleep everytime I get there!"

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