Funny Webcam Smackdown

Click on the image to view. Just plain wrong. Funny, but wrong!

Freshman Bellringer

Imagine:

You just came to Texas Tech University as a freshman.

You are SO PROUD that you have been chosen to pump up the crowd as the school's BELL RINGER during the big game.

Your whole family, all of your friends, and 15 million ESPN viewers see you on Saturday's telecast ringing the team's bell.

But due to the tragically unfortunate placement of the bell, the camera and your body; your whole family, all of your friends, and 15 million ESPN viewers see this instead ......................



I feel bad that I'm contributing to this guys ongoing embarrassment, but it's just too funny not to post!

Ghost Story

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"

The drunk, still staring down at the bed sheets in amazement, replied:

"I think I just beat the sh*t out of a ghost."

oops

My mistake, the Zombie book is by Max Brooks not Max Barry. It's called the Zombie Survival Guide and is a funny little book that any zombie movie aficionado will love! Here's a sample of the content:

Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

Zombies in Plain English

I stumbled across this and think it's interesting in that it is very similar to a humorous book written by Max Barry (http://www.maxbarry.com author of Jennifer Government, who's writings are akin to Chuck Palahniuk.)