5 BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK

5 BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK:

5. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."

4. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to."

3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."

2. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"

And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...

1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, Amen."

Special High Intensity Training

Employee Training Memo:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T).

We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else.

If you feel that you did not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.

Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T will placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T)

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.I.T)

Since our managers took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T anymore,as they are full of S.H.I.T already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be intrested in a job training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L S.H.I.T)

Those that are full of B.U.L.L S.H.I.T will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P S.H.I.T)

If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training (H.O.T S.H.I.T)

Thank you, Boss in General (B.I.G S.H.I.T)

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